January 11, 2010 - Ephesians 4:31-32

Ah...the good Lord is talking to me again. I had planned another Scripture verse for this morning, but apparently God has other plans. Here's the verse for today:

"Put away from you all bitterness and wrath and anger and wrangling and slander, together with all malice, and be kind to one another, tenderhearted, forgiving one another, as God in Christ has forgiven you."

At first, I wasn't clear about why God led me here. I have no bitterness towards anyone. Wait....or do I? Forgiveness? I've forgiven everybody I need to forgive. Haven't I?

The short answers are yes, and no. Yes. A certain couple cheated my husband and I in the past and cost us a lot of money. Even though we won the court judgement, we never saw a dime of the money they owe us. They've never made any attempt to pay us. I thought I had let go of that, but apparently not. The bitterness and anger are still there whenever I think of the pain they put us through, and the money we had to spend. And then I find that my old friends are still friends with the people who cheated us! And that hurts...

So, yes, bitterness and anger. Still there. Forgiveness...not there. So...this leads me to ponder how one goes about forgiving somebody whom one doesn't feel in the least like forgiving. It is so easy to hold on to the past, especially past injustices. We hold them close like little children who were lost and then found again. Each time we think of them, the scab rips open and we are in pain all over again. It hurts. And somehow forgiveness means saying, Hey, it's ok that you cheated me.

But forgiveness doesn't mean that at all. A woman may forgive the man who molested her, but if she's smart, she won't let him near her children. I may forgive the couple who cheated us, but I'd never allow the same situation to happen again. But...that brings me back to the original question. How do you forgive somebody you don't want to forgive?

Jesus gives me the answer. "...if you forgive others their trespasses, your heavenly Father will also forgive you; but if you do not forgive others, neither will your Father forgive your trespasses." (Matthew 6:14,15) Well, yes, fine. OK. But HOW???

Jesus give us the answer here too. "Love your enemies and pray for those who persecute you, so that you may be children of your Father in heaven; for He makes His sun rise on the evil and on the good, and sends rain on the righteous and on the unreighteous." (Matthew 5:44,45) So my answer is that I am to pray for the couple who cheated us. I am not to pray that they will somehow "uncheat" us, but instead I am to pray for their health, their wellbeing, even their finances. To be totally and brutally honest, that is the LAST thing in the world I want to pray for. But Jesus didn't ask me what I wanted to pray for - He told me what I NEED to pray for. Easy? Nope. Not for me. But I find that not everything Jesus asks of me is easy, but whatever He asks is always right. And even though this is not something I want to do, I ask for the Lord to give me the strength to do it.

Blessings.