January 31, 2010 - Hebrews 13:4

Today is an interesting day for me. Today is my parent's anniversary. If they had both lived, it would have been their 76th. It is also the anniversary of my second marriage. And today, I am the officiant at a wedding. Quite the day. So, it seemed appropriate that I choose a reading about marriage.

"Let marriage be held in honor by all, and let the marriage bed be kept undefiled; for God will judge fornicators and adulterers."

In fifteen days, on Valentine's Day, Chip and I would have been married 30 years. Thirty years is a long time, especially today, when people seem to marry and divorce over seemingly trivial things. It's as though the marriage vows are just something you say because they're part of the ceremony.

My first two marriages ended in divorce. The first because I was stupid and we were both just way too young. The second because of abuse, and I certainly do not believe God wants anybody to stay in a marriage that is abusive.

Chip was my third marriage. I'd grown up a lot by the time I met him. I guess perhaps I had a better grasp of the wedding vows. And when the "in sickness and in health" part came around, I was better able to deal with it. Chip was not an easy patient. He had a stubborn streak and he didn't take care of himself well. On the other hand, he could be a little too compliant. He wouldn't try until you told him to. At the end, he just didn't have any fight left.

Marriage is more than saying "I do" at the altar. It's truly meaning and making a commitment to those vows: Better or worse, richer or poorer, in sickness and in health, to love and to cherish. Every day, not just on your wedding day, but every day until death do you part.

If you are married, I encourage you to take a look at your marriage. Would you renew your vows today? Can you look at your spouse today and know that you will be together until death you do part? Cherish your loved ones while you can, because sometimes death comes way too soon.

And if you are single, I say to you...do not settle. Before you make the commitment to marriage, I encourage you to look over those vows and make sure they are ones you intend to keep. And once made, keep them. And may God bless your marriage today, and every day.

January 29, 2010 - Isaiah 65:24

I've been sick for a few days now. Just a lousy, rotten cold, but you all know how miserable they can be, especially the not being able to breathe part. I was trying to tough it out, but finally gave in on Wednesday and came home sick, then stayed home yesterday to try and kick this thing. Today I feel much better, though not completely over the cold.

Yeah, yeah, you're thinking...what does this have to do Isaiah 65:24?

Ok, here's the verse: "Before they call I will answer, while they are yet speaking I will hear."

So, yesterday I was wandering around the house looking for the Mucinex. I thought I still had some from when Chip was so congested, and I must have looked in same few places easily 3 or 4 times each. Looked in the medicine drawer, looked in the medicine cabinet, looked under the sink, looked in the box of his stuff by the bed. Nope, nowhere. This cold seems to have taken up lodging in my chest, so I really wanted that Mucinex, but certainly did NOT want to have to go out and get it.

I decided I'd at least put some Vicks on my chest (oh yeah, I smelled GOOD!), and on my way in to the bathroom I started praying, "Ok, Lord, here's the deal...I've got this wedding I've got to do on Sunday, and..." I opened the medicine cabinet to get out the Vicks, and what do you think my eye fell upon? Yup, the Mucinex. I know I'd looked there at least 3 times already and hadn't seen it.

Now, where on earth am I going with this? Just here - that God is indeed in the small stuff; He IS interested in the minutia of our lives. Cold medicine and parking places and what books to read, and even in what Bible verse to read. I know some find it difficult to reconcile God being interested in the tiny details of our tiny lives with the often horrendous and massive tragedy going on in out world, but if God is in the big stuff, then He has to be in the small stuff too, don't you think? It's not as though He's so busy concentrating on the big stuff that He doesn't have time for our petty concerns.

There's a lot going on in Haiti these days. Tales of tragedy and tales of hope. Tales of misery and tales of sacrifice. People being pulled from the rubble alive long after others had given up hope. Why let this one live, and not that one? Why let this one come through the tornado unscathed and the other perish? Why let the baby born to the crack mother live and the baby born to the woman who did everything right die? It's the ancient question posed by Job. Why, God, why? Why do bad things happen to good people - and conversely, why do good things happen to bad ones? Why does the child molester win the lottery and the minister working every day in the ghetto have to eke out a living for his daily bread?

I find it interesting that when Job asks God similar questions, God doesn't answer. He doesn't answer the question, though He does answer Job. Basically He says, "who are you, little man? Where were you when I created the universe?" He sounds very much the Wizard of Oz, asking how we dare to question Him. And yet....there certainly is something to that, isn't there? We cannot know the mind of God; we can only have faith and believe that God knows best, and that He is with us even in tragedy.

So, for me, I take great comfort in a God who is willing to open my eyes enough to see the Mucinex that was there all along, and a God who cares about my being able to speak above a rasp to marry a couple. I take comfort in a God who is in the small stuff of my life, and in the huge things of the world. If God is everywhere, then is He not also in the small stuff? Today, as I go about my half day at work, and errands afterwards, I will look for God in the small stuff, and I suspect I will see Him pretty much everywhere. How about you?

January 26, 2010 - Romans 14:13,14

"Let us therefore no longer pass judgment on one another, but resolve instead never to put a stumbling block or hindrance in theway of another. I know and am persuaded in the Lord Jesus that nothing is unclean in itself; but it is unclean for anyone who thinks it unclean."

Oh, come on. You know you do it. So do I. We pass judgment on people all day long. People we know, strangers, coworkers, family, friends. And just about the time I start passing judgment, it comes around to bite me in the fanny.

I'm especially hard on people who profess to be Christians, yet don't act like what I think a Christian should act like. I, for one, do not believe in psychics. Especially "famous" ones who are making a boatload of money off innocent and trusting people. The people called on in the audience are most likely plants, and any astute person can figure out your life story with a few well-planned questions. But if a friend or family member wants to spend their hard-earned dough on the off chance somebody from the "other side" is going to contact them, well, so be it. And if that's judgmental, then I guess it is. I'm just not at all sure this "gift" comes from God, that's all.

Yet, here I am, with Paul in my ear saying...hey, don't judge. What do YOU do that isn't exactly kosher either? Hmmmm? Where do I fall short? Because, believe me, I know I do. So, before I sit in the judgment seat, I need to take the beam out of my own eye, I suppose. And I have a feeling that may be easier said than done. How about you? What are you judgmental about?

January 25, 2010 - Dut 10:20 & Mt 5:34

These are just a couple of the passages where the Bible seems to contradict itself. Trying to understand when the Bible says two different things, and still believing that God's word does not lie can sometimes be a challenge. Ready? Here goes:

"You shall fear the Lord your God; Him alone shall you worship; to Him you shall hold fast, AND BY HIS NAME YOU SHALL SWEAR" Deuteronomy 10:20

But in the sermon on the mount, Jesus says: "Again, you have heard that it was said to those of ancient times, 'You shall not swear falsely, but carry out the vows you have made to the Lord' But I say to you, DO NOT SWEAR AT ALL, either by heaven, for it is the throne of God, or by the earth, for it is His footstool, or by Jerusalem, for it is the city of the great King. And do not swear by your head, for you cannont make one hair white or black. Let your word be "Yes, Yes' or "No, No'; anything more than this comes from the evil one."

Is this simply a case of "that was then, this is now?" Jesus turned a whole lot of the old rules on their heads. No more "an eye for an eye," stuff. No more forbidden foods. Did those "ancient" peoples just have it wrong all along and Jesus came along to set things right? Or, as I suspect, as the people grew out of the barbaric stage, they were ready for a set of rules that were more compassionate? In primitive times, retaliation was the name of the game. Even God Himself told the Israelites to wipe out entire communities: men, women, children, and even all the animals! So here Jesus comes out of the blue and to let your neighbor not only whack you up oneside the head, but to turn and let him do it again!

So, were the rules "wrong" in the beginning? After all, God spoke them. They couldn't be wrong. Was our understanding wrong? Maybe. Or were those rules simply appropriate for that particular time and place? Much as Paul's rules regarding women no longer apply today. (THAT'S another whole post!)

Personally, I prefer the kinder, gentler God of Jesus to the harsh, vindictive, bloodthirsty God of the Old Testament. I don't recognize the Old Testament God as the One I know and love and worship. And yet...are they or are they not the SAME GOD? If God is unchanging, then why does He seem so different?

I welcome your comments...

January 24, 2010 - 1 Maccabees 7:37

Even though this passage is taken out of context, this portion speaks to my heart:

"You chose this house to be called by Your name,
and to be for Your people a house
of prayer and supplication."

The writer was speaking of the Temple in Jerusalem, but applies equally today to all houses of worship, and I believe, to our own houses as well.
My question for myself this morning is: "Is my house a house of prayer?"

I confess that I don't pray as often as I should. I tend to shoot up what I call "arrow prayers." "Thank you, Lord, for this...Please, Lord...Lord, what will do about such-and-such...Lead me,Lord..." You get the picture. But to sit down quietly before the Lord? Not easy. I pray before I open the Bible to whatever passage the Lord calls me to before I write these little ponderings of mine. And I shoot arrow prayers up many times a day.

Ok, here's what occurs to me. God is not talking necessarily talking about a physical building here. If our bodies are temples of the Holy Spirit, is my body a "house of prayer?" Do I carry my "house of prayer" around with me, wherever I go? To work, to school, in the car, walking the dogs, grocery shopping, to Weight Watcher meetings? Am I carrying my house of prayer with me, or is my house of prayer carrying me? It seems like a fine line, because I'm not sure we can separate the two...and why would we even want to?

If we ARE a house of prayer, "we" as in our very own selves, not a building we go to once a week, then how do we treat this house of prayer? In the book of 1 Maccabees we hear how the Syrian ruler plundered the temple, burned the books of the Old Testament, forbade circumcision and sacrificed a pig on the altar of the temple. What sort of desecrations do we do to our personal houses of prayer every day? Are we putting toxic chemicals or alcohol into it? Are we not treating it with the respect it deserves? Are we letting our temple get fat and lazy?

Looking at our bodies as temples of the Living God, as Houses of Prayer that are with us every second of our earthly lives....well, it puts kind of a different spin on just how we treat God's house.

How do YOU treat your House of Prayer?

January 23, 2010 - Proverbs 31:8,9

"Speak out for those who cannot speak,
for the rights of all the destitute.
Speak out, judge righteously,
defend the rights of the poor and needy."

Well, there it is, in black and white. I've heard it said that God must really love the poor because He made so many of them. Poor people certainly do end up getting the short end of the stick sometimes. And since we're speaking in cliches today - how about "the rich get richer and the poor get children?"

All over the news these days is the absolute devestation in Haiti. It's horrible to watch. Give me "Golden Girls." Give me "What Not To Wear." But, Lord, spare me from watching something I can do nothing about. If I could hop a plane and go give a helping hand, I'd be on the first plane out, even though I hate to fly. But what can I do, so far away? It feels like it did after Hurricane Katrina...so helpless.

Maybe in some ways it was easier in the days before technology gave us instant news. You knew who your neighbor was. He was the fellow in the next house, the person you helped plant his crops and who helped you. She was the woman who helped deliver your children, and cried at the grave with you when one of them died. Your neighbor was across the street, down the block, two fields over. He, or she, was someone you saw in church, at the market, in the fields. Somebody you knew.

"Love your neighbor as yourself." Who is my neighbor now? Is my neighbor the 200,000 people who died in Haiti? Is my neighbor the widow across the street? It would certainly be easier to help the widow across the street, but all I can do for the people in Haiti is pray. Pray for them and for those who are fortunate enough to be able to go help them, hands on.

I know in my heart of hearts, that prayer is a powerful thing. I know that. But sometimes, Lord, sometimes, it feels like speaking into a void. All my life, I've wanted to go...to go, to do, to be a part of. During the civil rights movement, I wanted to be down in the South singing "We Shall Overcome." When the towers fell, I wanted to be in New York, helping to look through the rubble for survivors. During Hurricane Katrina, I wanted to hop in the car and take supplies down to New Orleans. I had made plans to go to India and work with Mother Teresa for six months, but I hurt my back and couldn't go. Today, I want to be in Haiti. Apparently God doesn't want me to go. God wants me to stay, and perhaps find a way to reach out to my neighbors who are a little closer, but perhaps no less needy. Help me, Lord!

January 22, 2010 - Psalm 46:10

"Be still, and know that I am God!"

Of all the exhortations in the Bible, this is one I find the most difficult. Be still? Doesn't God know how much stuff I have to do? I don't have time to be still!

Um...hello? Here's the deal. God isn't a shouter. God is a gentleman. God doesn't grab you by the ear and shriek into it. God whispers. And if you're not quiet, it's awfully difficult to hear Him. If I'm spending my days and evenings doing, doing, doing...when do I have time to listen to God? When do I stop long enough to hear what He is saying to me?

Do you remember the story of Elijah? (Read 1 Kings, chapter 19) Elijah ran away from Jezebel who was out to kill him and hid in a cave. There was a great wind, and an earthquake and a fire, but God was not in the wind, nor the earthquake, nor the fire. God was in the stillness. So it is with me. I am so busy paying attention to the heavy winds that lash against my soul I'm not still long long enough to hear the voice of God.

As much as I love traditional churches, and the worship and the singing and the sermons...there is something to be said for an unprogrammed Quaker meeting too. It is in the stillness that God speaks. My job is to stop what I'm doing long enough to hear His voice.

January 21, 2010 - The Wisdom of Solomon 1:12-15

"Do not invite death by the error of your life,
or bring on destruction by the works of your hands;
because God did not make death,
and He does not delight in the death
of the living.
For He created all things so that they might exist;
the generative forces of the world are wholesome,
and there is no destructive poison in them,
and the dominion of Hades is not on earth.
For righeousness is immortal."

I find this passage to be a bit troubling, but only the part about God not creating death. If God created everything, then He created death too. But outside of that the wisdom contained here is profound.

Our folly, our errors, the stupid choices we sometimes make with our lives can easily bring about our own destruction. And sometimes we do everything right, but we all die anyway. Death is as much a part of life as birth. It's just the other end.

I believe God created us to live; I mean to REALLY live, not just slog though every day as if the only purpose in life was to go to work, come home, eat dinner, watch tv and go to bed. My friends, there IS more to life than that! How easily we fall into that routine! Myself included, I'm afraid.

So, I ask myself...what does "really living" mean to me? The past five years or so of my life hae revolved around my husband's illness. Doctors, chemo, surgery, caring for him, hospitals. And now that that part of my life has ended, I find myself at loose ends. What do I do with my life now? Especially since I'm now "financially challenged." What does God have in store for me now? What's my next move? What do I do now? What form will "really living" take for me?

January 20, 2010 - The book of Titus

Woah! Have you read the book of Titus lately? Paul's letter to Titus is located in the New Testament. It's a fairly short book, so drag out those dusty old Bibles and crack it open. Watch out for moths.

Seriously, in trying to decide which passage to use, I simply couldn't. But what came to me is that some things about Paul did not change with his conversion. He's still a judgemental old grump. According to Paul, forget three strikes...all Paul gives you is two and then your outta there.

Paul begins by saying who can and cannot be elders in the church. Someone who is blameless, married only once, whose children are believers, and not accused of debauchery and not rebellious. Well... I personally have known many a church elder that does NOT fit that description!

Next Paul talks about silencing those who are rebellious, idle talkers and deceivers. Paul was not a fan of free speech, I see.

Ah, a nugget! "To the pure all things are pure, but to the corrupt and unbelieving nothing is pure." Definite truth there.

In reading through Paul letter to Titus, I am very grateful that it is not Paul who sits at the judgement seat or none of us would make the grade. While Paul definately has good advice in how we should live our lives, he certainly doesn't give us much wiggle room for simply being flawed human beings.

Even in this, however, is this passage: "But when the goodness and loving kindness of God our Savior appeared, He saved us, not because of any works of rightousness that we had done, but according to His mercy." Now, THAT, my friends, is what I'm talking about... The mercy and love of God outshines the judgement of man every time. And praise the Lord for that!

January 19, 2010 - Ecclesiastes 5:1-6

"Guard your steps when you go to the house of God; to draw near to listen is better than the sacrifice offered by fools; for they do not know how to keep from doing evil. Never be rash with your mouth, nor let your heart be quick to utter a word before God, for God is in heaven, and you upon earth; therefore let your words be few.
For dreams come with many cares, and a fool's voice with many words.
When you make a vow to God, do not delay fulfilling it; for He has no pleasure in fools. Fulfill what you vow. It is better than you should not vow than that you should vow and not fulfill it. Do not let your mouth lead you into sin, and do not say before the messenger than it was a mistake; why should God be angry at your words, and destroy the work of your hands?"

I cannot tell you how many times I have opened my mouth and words came out that were downright ugly. Once said, words cannot be recalled. Even if you try to "make up" for it later, the damage has been done. In this passage we are warned against such sinning before God.

"Oh God, I promise...if You'll just do this for me, I'll...give me this, Lord and I'll..." Wherever did we get the idea that we can bargain with God? We so often treat God like a vending machine...if we just plug in the right prayers ("In the name of Jesus" comes to mind) then surely God will grant our request. And if God says "no," well, how dare He? Didn't we do everything right?

Once again, we forget Who God is, and who we are. God is God. We are not. In this passage we are warned against making vows to God unless we are going to fulfill those vows right away. How often have we made a vow to God, and then rather conveniently "forgot" when the time for doing was past? Later, maybe, we said...I know I promised God something but now I forgot what it was. Oh well, God will forgive me. That, my friends, is just about as blasphemous as it comes. If there is an unforgiveable sin, it's taking God for granted. It's taking His grace and turning it into a cheap gift. God's grace did not come cheap. God's grace came with a price, a heavy price. A price paid by Jesus on the cross so that you wouldn't have to pay it.

The Bible cautions us in many places to guard our tongue. And when it comes to God, be more than cautious is what we say and how we speak. God is listening.

January 18, 2010 - Proverbs 3:5,6

Last Friday we laid my husband's ashes to rest. There is nothing more to do for him, except remember and cherish the thirty years we had together. It seems an appropriate time to revisit my "life verse."

God gave me my Life Verse some years ago. Many of you will know it by heart:

"Trust in the Lord with all your heart, and lean not on your own understanding. In all your ways acknowledge Him, and He shall direct your paths."

This is my year for trusting God. Not that I shouldn't be saying that every year and every day, but the truth of the matter is I am far more likely to trust myself and my fellow human beings before I turn to God. That's just the way of it. I seem, somehow, to think that my petty little issues are a "bother" to God, and I should be able to handle things myself. After all, He's got bigger things to worry about than me. Good Lord, how silly is that???

When my husband was alive he rarely called his sons. When I asked him why, he said he didn't want to intrude on their lives; he didn't want to "bother" them. He never seemed to understand how painful and hurtful that was to them. He didn't want to be a "burden." And both he and his sons lost out.

Wow...do I see myself there. Instead of not wanting to "bother" my children, I don't want to "bother" my Father. Does it cause God pain when I don't turn to Him, even with the most petty of problems? Is he disappointed that I don't come to Him first instead of "using" Him as a last resort? I know I'm anthropomorphizing God in this, attributing human characteristics to God when He is so much bigger than that, but it does make me think.

Why don't I go to God first? How often do I wait to pray until there's nothing left to do but pray? So, if this is my year for trusting God, then I need to learn to turn to Him first. I need to consult Him first. I need to look to Him for everything. Yes, I need people too. After all, that's how God works most of the time, through people.

In the year 1653, Quaker George Fox put it this way: "How else dost thou think He can manifest His love? Through nature? Through the trees, the clouds, the beasts in the field, the stars? No, only through beings capable of doing so; ourselves."

Indeed. So, this year I shall attempt to lean not on my own understanding, but to acknowledge Him, and let Him lead me. I suspect I may need to revisit this verse many times this year...

Blessings

A few days off...

Hello Readers,
This weekend I am out of town for my husband's funeral. I will be away from my computer and will begin writing about my Bible readings when I return. Phoenix

January 12, 2010 - Tobit 4:6-8,11

You've seen them. So have I. "Will work for food." "Homeless, please help." "Veteran. Help please." How often do you avert your eyes and walk on by? Cross the street maybe. Yeah, me too, sometimes. Often. More often than I like.

But hear the words in the book of Tobit, one of the Apocryphal books found in the Old Testament in Catholic Bibles:

"To all those who practice righteousness, give alms from your possessions, and do not let your eye begrudge the gift when you make it. Do not turn your face away from anyone who is poor, and the face of God will not be turned away from you. If you have many possessions, make your gift from them in proportion; if few, do not be afraid to give according to the little you have. Indeed, almsgiving, for all who practice it, is an excellent offering in the presence of the Most High."

It's so easy to be harsh and judgemental against those who beg. "Get a job," we think, or "They'll just spend it on booze." I've heard them called scam artists, and how these poor old geezers who beg in front of PetSmart actually take home more money in a week than I do in a month.

So, how do we decide who is "worthy" of our help? Do you think of it that way? Is that bum worthy of my help? They're just lazy. They don't want to work. Why should I spend my hard-earned money on some bum who's just going to spend it on drugs? How do we decide who is worthy and who is not? How do we pick who will be the recipient of our beneficience? As though we were so much better than they. After all, we work. We don't drink or do drugs. We have a house, a job, a car.

And yet, under all that is that little bitty fear that raises its ugly head and says, "There, but for the grace of God, go I."

For some of us, who are perhaps closer to the bum on the street corner than we would like to admit, it is precisely that fear that stays our hand. If I don't give, it won't be me. If I ignore him, he'll go away, and I won't have to see myself in his face.

So. I would ask. How many of us are "worthy" of God's help? How many of us are spiritual beggars, standing on the streetcorner with our hand out, asking for God's blessing? And if I'm not worthy, and I'm not, then how I dare judge another who is also not worthy?

Does this mean that I give my last penny to every bum I see? No. But I'll tell you how I decide - I ask God. Sometimes I have no problem at all walking on by, and other times, I stop. I help. Now, if someone is hungry, I'm happy to buy them some food. I'm not always real excited about giving money, though if I'm led to, I do that too. If I feel led to give, I give. And if I'm not, I don't. But I know, deep in my heart of hearts, that one day that could be me on the street corner. That could be me under the bridge. That could be me huddled on a cot at a rescue mission. That could be me. That could be you. That could be Christ. "Even as you have done it to the least of these my brethern, you have done it to Me."

January 11, 2010 - Ephesians 4:31-32

Ah...the good Lord is talking to me again. I had planned another Scripture verse for this morning, but apparently God has other plans. Here's the verse for today:

"Put away from you all bitterness and wrath and anger and wrangling and slander, together with all malice, and be kind to one another, tenderhearted, forgiving one another, as God in Christ has forgiven you."

At first, I wasn't clear about why God led me here. I have no bitterness towards anyone. Wait....or do I? Forgiveness? I've forgiven everybody I need to forgive. Haven't I?

The short answers are yes, and no. Yes. A certain couple cheated my husband and I in the past and cost us a lot of money. Even though we won the court judgement, we never saw a dime of the money they owe us. They've never made any attempt to pay us. I thought I had let go of that, but apparently not. The bitterness and anger are still there whenever I think of the pain they put us through, and the money we had to spend. And then I find that my old friends are still friends with the people who cheated us! And that hurts...

So, yes, bitterness and anger. Still there. Forgiveness...not there. So...this leads me to ponder how one goes about forgiving somebody whom one doesn't feel in the least like forgiving. It is so easy to hold on to the past, especially past injustices. We hold them close like little children who were lost and then found again. Each time we think of them, the scab rips open and we are in pain all over again. It hurts. And somehow forgiveness means saying, Hey, it's ok that you cheated me.

But forgiveness doesn't mean that at all. A woman may forgive the man who molested her, but if she's smart, she won't let him near her children. I may forgive the couple who cheated us, but I'd never allow the same situation to happen again. But...that brings me back to the original question. How do you forgive somebody you don't want to forgive?

Jesus gives me the answer. "...if you forgive others their trespasses, your heavenly Father will also forgive you; but if you do not forgive others, neither will your Father forgive your trespasses." (Matthew 6:14,15) Well, yes, fine. OK. But HOW???

Jesus give us the answer here too. "Love your enemies and pray for those who persecute you, so that you may be children of your Father in heaven; for He makes His sun rise on the evil and on the good, and sends rain on the righteous and on the unreighteous." (Matthew 5:44,45) So my answer is that I am to pray for the couple who cheated us. I am not to pray that they will somehow "uncheat" us, but instead I am to pray for their health, their wellbeing, even their finances. To be totally and brutally honest, that is the LAST thing in the world I want to pray for. But Jesus didn't ask me what I wanted to pray for - He told me what I NEED to pray for. Easy? Nope. Not for me. But I find that not everything Jesus asks of me is easy, but whatever He asks is always right. And even though this is not something I want to do, I ask for the Lord to give me the strength to do it.

Blessings.

January 10, 2010 - Habakkuk 3:17-19

"Though the fig tree does not blossom,
and no fruit is on the vines;
though the produce of the olive fails,
and the fields yeild no food,
though the flock is cut off from the fold,
and there is no herd in the stalls,
yet I will rejoice in the Lord.
I will exult in the God of my salvation.
God, the Lord, is my strength,
He makes my feet like the feet of a deer,
and makes me tread upon the heights."

Habakkuk, one of the minor prophets (minor because the books are short, not because their message is inferior), calls upon the Lord to ask why the Lord seeems silent when there is so much wickedness in the world. It's a question still being asked today.

Where IS God when tragedy strikes? Why does God allow suffering? Why does God let bad people get away with stuff while good people can't seem to catch a break?
God's answer is a very typical "God" answer: "I'm God; you're not. I'll deal with things in My time, not yours." Not much comfort, I'm afraid, if you're about to be devoured by a lion, or if you're living under the bridge, or your child is dying and you can't do anything about it.

Habakkuk,even though he asks the same questions then that we ask now, accepts God's answer. (Well, we haven't much choice about that...I mean, God IS God, and we're not.) But he takes acceptance one step further. Look, he says, even when life is falling apart around me and my herds are gone and the fields are not producing, You are still God, and therefore worthy of my worship and my praise. Habakkuk has his priorities straight.

In this modern world, though, we want answers. We want to know what's going to happen and why and when will this all end and how come You let this happen in the first place, huh???? Whoa.... We forget Who we are talking to. Habakkuk, Job, they questioned too, but in the end they remembered just Who it was they were talking to, and were humbled. No matter what, says Habakkuk, no matter what calamity befall me and no matter that the world is going to hell in a handbasket, still I will praise the Lord.

Sometimes I wonder if we only praise the Lord when good things come our way. Or we only praise the Lord because we think He'll bless us if we do. Or maybe we praise the Lord because somehow, we hope to get something out of it. Or maybe we're praising the Lord because everybody in church around us is praising the Lord.

How about praising the Lord simply because the Lord is the Lord? I think that is what Habakkuk is saying. You are God, therefore I will praise you. The ultimate "equal" sign.

I like to think of verses like this as "me too" verses. I will praise the Lord, my God, simply because He is God. No matter what the circumstances of my life, God is God, and I may not know this side of Glory why things happen in my life, but I have faith that whatever happens, God is in control, and even when my life is spinning out of my control, God's got it covered. Praise the Lord!

January 9, 200 - Sirach 2:15-18

Today's passage comes from the book of Sirach, which is an Apocryphal book found in the Old Testament in Catholic Bibles. It reads as follows:

"Those who fear the Lord do not
disobey His words,
and those who love Him keep His ways.
Those who fear the Lord seek to
please Him,
and those who love Him are filled with His law.
Those who fear the Lord prepare
their hearts
and hmble themselves before Him.
Let us fall into the hands of the Lord,
but not into the hands of mortals,
for equal to His majesty is His mercy,
and equal to His name are His works."

This makes me ask the question - Do I fear God? In the sense that I think of fear, the answer is no. Respect, worship, awe, love...yes. So, what is the Bible saying here? Does it say that we are to fear our protector? Are we to be afraid of the very One who saves us? So, I'm thinking that the word "fear" doesn't mean fear in the sense that we think of as fear. But, I can see that standing (or perhaps attempting to stand) in the presence of the Almighty would be more than most of us could take. I think of God as my friend, my Father, my comforter, my strength and my shield. Yet, I am also aware that He is so much more than that. He literally holds my life in His hands, and should He forget about me for single instant, I would cease to exist.

Though Paramhansa Yogananda was not a Christian, still he echoed a prayer for all of us when he said, "Oh Great Spirit, forget me not, even when I forget you."

May it be so.

January 8, 2010 - Lamentations 3:22-24

Who would have thought that such a hopeful verse would come out of the book of Lamentations?

"The steadfast love of the Lord never ceases,
His mercies never come to an end;
they are new every morning;
great is your faithfulness.
'The Lord is my portion,' says my soul,
'therefore I will hope in Him.'"

Indeed. Every morning that I wake up on this side of the dirt is a brand new day. New trials, new mercies. New opportunities to trust God. New joys to discover, even in the midst of grief.

It is easy to get wrapped up in one's troubles. They all seem so overwhelming sometimes. How am I going to pay this? What will I do about that? What if such-and-such happens? Sometimes I live in the future and forget that right now, at this particular instant in time, is what is important. God is here, with me, right now. He is taking care of things, right now. Jesus tells us in Matthew 6:34, "So do not worry about tomorrow, for tomorrow will bring worries of its own. Today's trouble is enough for today." So, too, perhaps, are today's joys enough for one day.

Living in the "now" may not always be easy. There are always plans to make and events to either look forward to (or dread). But in the midst of that is NOW, just NOW. Let us hang on to that, and see what God is doing right now, trust that later will take care of itself.

Blessings.

January 7, 2010 - James 1:2-4

"My brothers and sisters, whenever you face trials of any kind, consider it nothing but joy, because you know that the testing of your faith produces endurance; and let endurance have its full effect, so that you may be mature and complete, lacking in nothing."

I'm enjoying the new tv show "Mercy," about Veronica, a nurse who is adjusting to life back in the states after having been in Iraq. After all she had seen there, she had lost her faith, not being able to reconcile the horrors of war with a loving God.

In last night's episode, one of her patients died for three minutes and was brought back to life. A devout Christian before the surgery at which he died, he had a crisis of faith after finding out that he died and he didn't have the "light, tunnel, and God waiting for you" experience. He decides there is no God and why bother being a good person if it doesn't matter anyway.

In today's Bible passage, on the other hand, James says that trials are opportunities for spiritual growth. We are to praise God for the trials, count them nothing but joy. Trust me, this one is easier said than done. But, when I look back on my life, I know that the experiences where I learned the most were usually experiences I would rather have not had at all. In today's trials, I cling to the God of my understanding, the God who loves me, comforts me, cares for me. The trials bring me closer to Him, and also restores my faith in human nature. He sends help when I need it, often from unexpected sources.

At the end of the show, Veronica and the patient are having a conversation. She tells him about a young man she treated in Iraq who died due to the injuries he sustained while saving a young girl. "Who would do that?" She asks. "I think that's a miracle." Her patient looks incredibly sad and says, "I miss God." Veronica replies, "So do I."

I hope Veronica finds God again. This is tv, so maybe not. But for those who are having their own crisis of faith right now, I say, do not despair. Count your trials as joy, for God is there in the midst of them. Does the sun cease to exist because the clouds cover the sky? Are the trees really dead in the winter because they lost their leaves in the fall? So God remains, even in the trials. Perhaps, even more in the trials. I think sometimes when times are "good" we tend to forget about God and just go about our merry ways. It is in the trials that we learn to trust God. It is in the midst of despair that God is the one constant on Whom we can depend.

January 6, 2010 - Isaiah 50:4,5

"The Lord God has given me
the tongue of a teacher,
that I may know how to sustain
the weary with a word.
Morning by morning He wakens -
wakens my ear
to listen as those who are taught.
The Lord God has opned my ear,
and I was not rebellious.
I did not turn backward."

Oh my. I see myself in this verse. I've always loved teaching, and every time I stand in front of a Weight Watcher meeting I am fully aware that my words carry a tremendous lot of power to people who are hurting. I know the feeling well. I know how it is to be sick and tired of being sick and tired. I know how it is to have to hold your breath to tie your shoes. I know how it is to not be able to walk the dogs more than a block without having to stop. I know all those things, and I am grateful to God that He brought me to Weight Watchers.

And now He has put me in the position of teacher. In my capacity as a leader, I am always keenly aware that my words can make all the difference to someone who is struggling. It is an awesome responsibility, and it is only with God's help that I am able to stand before others to tell my experience, strength and hope, and to "pay it forward."

I pray God continues to give me the right words to say for each meeting. I pray that He helps me give rest to the weary, and hope to the hopeless, and encouragement to those who need it. Freely I was given, so freely I give. For me, Weight Watchers is not just a "job;" it is a ministry. And I thank God every day for this opportunity, and pray that I will always open my ears to His leading.

January 5, 2010 - Isaiah 12:1-6

Today's passage is so hopeful, so comforting. "Surely God is my salvation; I will trust and will not be afraid, for the Lord God is my strength and my might."

A while back my sister-in-law asked me if I thought Christians had an "easier" time when bad times happened. Was it easier to cope with pain and loss if you were a Christian? For me, of course, the answer is yes. I cannot imagine going through what I'm going through without God at my side and in my heart.

In today's reading, Isaiah acknowledges that even though God was angry with him, still He provided comfort. Even in the midst of troubles, in the center of grief, at the very bottom of the financial pit, God is there to provide hope and comfort and strength.

Where do people who do not have Christ go with their pain and their anguish? Are they left to suffer alone? I believe God is waiting in the wings for those who do not know Him to acknowledge Him. I believe God helps those who don't even know they're being helped. I believe that if you belong to Christ, you are His, even if you don't know it yet. As long as there is life, there is hope, and we can never know what happens to someone in the last few seconds before death. I think it only takes one glimpse of God for us to say, "My Lord and my God!" and to embrace Him.

A very dear friend of mine despairs of one of her relatives ever coming to Christ. I say, where there is life, there is hope, and you may not know this side of Glory whether your loved one made the choice in the very last second of human life. So, despair not, if Christ died for you, then you are His, and nothing can change that.

Blessings to all today....

January 4, 2010 - Isaiah 40:3-5

Well, this is interesting. Here's the passage:

A voice cries out:
"In the wilderness prepare the way
of the Lord,
make straight in the desert a
highway for our God.
Every valley shall be lifted up,
and every mountain and hill be
made low,
the uneven ground shall become
level,
and the rough places a plain.
Then the glory of the Lord shall
be revealed,
and all people shall see it
together,
for the mouth of the Lord has
spoken."

Look again...it doesn't say "A voice cried out in the wilderness..." It says "A voice cried out: In the wilderness prepare the way..." All these years I thought the voice was crying out in the wilderness, but instead the voice is saying that in the wilderness a way needs to be prepared. It puts kind of a different spin on it, for me.

In my own wilderness these days, I need to prepare the way for God to work in my life. The passage does not say that the Lord is going to do it, but calls us to do the preparation. How do I prepare for God? Isn't God here no matter what preparation I do? I think, for me...well, let's use a math test as an analogy. If I don't prepare for the math test, by reading, studying, working practice problems or whatever, I'll probably fail the test. It may be that I "know" the material, but if I haven't prepared, knowing the material isn't going to do me much good. Maybe its the same way with God. If I'm not preparing for Him to work in my life, maybe I won't be ready.

And how do I prepare for God? How do I make the highway straight and lift up the valleys in my life? I think, perhaps, doing what I'm doing right now. Reading God's word and trying to make sense of it. Getting fresh insights. Recognizing when He is working in my life already. Being grateful for all the blessings He continues to pour upon me. Helping others whenever I can. Recognizing when the glory of the Lord is revealed in my own life, and praising Him for it.

I may stay in Isaih a while....this book is a treasure trove.

January 3, 2010 - Baruch 3:14

Baruch is one of the Apocryphal books of the Bible and is found in Catholic Bibles in the Old Testament. Baruch was the secretary of the prophet Jeremiah. It relates a pattern common to the Bible - the people and their leaders sin, and God sends a prophet to bring them back. Baruch 3:14 is as follows:

Learn where there is wisdom,
where there is strngth,
where there is understanding,
so that you may at the same time
discern
where there is length of days, and
life,
where there is light for the eyes,
and peace.

Perhaps this passage speaks to me today because my grief is still so raw. The world's "wisdom" claws at me with conflicting messages. God's wisdom, however, is the wisdom that brings me light and peace. It is in reading God's word that I find true wisdom, strength and understanding.

Now, I'm the first to confess that sometimes (often!) I do not understand exactly what God is trying to tell me. God's message in His word often seems contradictory, with one passage saying something entirely different from another. But even with that, I hold on to the promise that God's word does not lie. If my understanding is faulty, then I need to pray for more understanding, recoginizing that understanding, wisdom and strength are given in God's good time, not mine.

So, today, as I enjoy this last day of "vacation," and as I go about doing the things I need to do today, I shall set my subconscious mind to "work," as I ponder this passage, and let it's truth dip into my soul, as my toe might dip into a refreshing stream. Light and peace...God's promise to me today.

January 2, 2010 - Joel

Last night the Lord led me to the book of Joel. Joel is located in the Old Testament and tells the story of agricultural calamity in the form of locusts. Joel calls on the people to repent of their sins, insisting that the "Day of the Lord" is at hand.

My "locust year" was 2009. It began last January with the death of our beloved dog Dorothy. A dear friend in Arkansas also passed last January. At work, I had to take a 2% pay cut. And in November, of course, Chip passed away. As in most years, of course, there was good along with the bad. I finished losing the weight I wanted to lose and became a Weight Watcher leader. Valentino came to join the household.

Parts of Joel are difficult to read. There is a lot of pain and anguish and "repent you sinners!" But Joel also contains some of the most hopeful passages in the Old Testament.

"Return to the Lord, your God, for he is gracious and merciful, slow to anger, and abounding in steadfast love..." "Do not fear...be glad and rejoice, for the Lord has done a great thing! Do not fear...for the pastures of the wilderness are green."

But my favorite passage is this:

"I will repay you for the years that the swarming locus has eaten, the hopper, the destroyer, and the cutter, my great army, which I sent against you. You shall eat in plenty and be satisfied, and praise the name of the Lord your God, who has dealt wondrously with you."

I claim God's promise, that He will take care of me; that my pastures will be green. And in good times or bad, I will praise the name of the Lord my God, who has indeed dealt wondrously with me. He continues to provide for me; people continue to be kind to me; I am blessed every day with those who love me. It has been my experience throughout my life that most people will be as kind as you give them opportunity to be. I think deep in the heart of every human being is the capacity for love, for generousity, for kindness. Oh yes, sometimes it's pretty well hidden. Life experiences can make people shut down, become mean. But the capacity for kindness is still there.

Blessings to you today, and may 2010 be the year of blessing for all of us.

January 1, 2010 - The book of Ruth

Perhaps because I am recently widowed myself, I chose the book of Ruth to begin the new year. The book of Ruth is located in the Old Testament and tells the story of one of Jesus' ancestors.

I read with fresh eyes the story of Naomi and Ruth, both widows and on their own in a world that was certainly not friendly to their plight. Left bereft of financial support, like me, they decide they must make their own way in the world. While I have not yet chosen to uproot and move on, I certainly understand their desire to do so. There is nothing left for them there.

The whole story of Ruth is one of loyalty and of love. Ruth and Naomi are loyal to each other; they count on each other. Naomi sees to it that Ruth is taken care of after she is gone.

What comes to me as I read this story is that at the time, neither Ruth nor Naomi would know that we would be reading about them 3 thousand years later. They couldn't possibly know that their names would be inscribed for all time as part of the lineage of the Savior of the world. They were just two women, doing the best they could with what they had. They were just two women leading their lives from one day to the next, living and loving, having babies, cooking meals, worshiping the God of their understanding. And yet, here I am, thousands of years later, reading their story and marveling at how God works in mysterious ways.

Which leads me to this conclusion....we can never know what our words and our actions will have in the long run. Will thousands of years pass and someone be reading my story?

I make a jump now...to the understanding that we never know, when we leave someone, if the words we speak to them will be the last words they will hear from our lips. When you leave the house to go the grocery store, or to work, what are your last words? I am so very blessed...when I went to the hospital that morning before I went to work to see Chipper, the last words I said to him were, "See you tonight. I love you." And he answered, "I love you too, dear." What a blessing; what a wonderful blessing. It brings me such peace to know that the last words we said to each other were words of love.

So, Naomi and Ruth, two widows just trying to make the best of a bad situation, go on become a part of the lineage of Jesus Christ. I cannot know what God has in store for me, but I do know that when I let God do the leading, even if I don't know where we're going or how we're going to get there, that in the end, it will all turn out all right.

Many blessings to you, dear readers, in the coming year. I don't know what story God will lead me to tomorrow. I guess we'll have to wait for tomorrow to find out!